


one night's conversations.

by pigeonpi



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Tulpas, Why?, brain people, but i dont want this to be on the splatoon tag so no fandom, get ready for the weirdest thing youll ever read, i added another chapter, i dont know, i dont know anything anymore, i guess, no you wont be able to tell the difference between people, so these characters are technically splatoon characters, this is going to make absolutely no sense, this is just me trying to make sense of everything thats happening, yall prolly never heard of tulpas so uh, you thought my vent fics were confusing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:24:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24480478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pigeonpi/pseuds/pigeonpi
Summary: a conversation between my tulpas.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> no, this wont make any sense. if you know you know.
> 
> this is all dialogue, with almost no distinction between people. sorry, i really dont want to think about this any further.
> 
> youre gonna leave this with questions, and im sorry. ill try and answer whatever questions you have, but i might not be able to answer them all.
> 
> theres cursing, and one of them is a manipulative person. and she's a bully in general, so.

“Mona, what the fuck are you doing here?”

“Aw~ that’s so mean, Vernie!”

“Look, you always show up when something bad happens, and you always make it worse.”

“Hm… well, seems like you’ve answered your own question, Vernie!”

“Oh fuck you.”

“Well, birdy’s crying. What did they do this time?”

“…why should I tell you.”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll tear your limbs off~! Again~!”

“…cod, I hate you.”

“Aw~ how sweet of you~! So, what happened?”

“…they’ve been having thoughts.”

“Oh? What kind~?”

“…thoughts about their mother, mostly.”

“Hmm… hey, birdy dearie~? Stop crying. You look like a baby.”

“What the fuck. Shut up. Just shut up and go back to whatever the fuck you were doing.”

“Hm… nah~! I don’t want to. Get out of my way, Vern.”

“No. I’m not moving, bitch.”

“Wow. I even asked nicely, you know.”

“I don’t fucking care, Mona. You always make things worse.”

“That’s rude, 98.”

“You’re rude.”

“Aw, you can’t even come up with a good comeback. Ugh, you were so much better before.”

“…shut up. I wasn’t better then. You… you changed everything. You made everything worse. Just… go away, dammit.”

“Aw, are you crying, Vernie? Pathetic.”

“…I don’t care what you think.”

“You do care. I know you do.”

“No. No I don’t.”

“I know you’re lying. I know your brain all too well.”

“…shut up. Just shut up.”

“Hey, birdy. Keep on crying, and they’ll all treat you like the weak little baby you are.”

“…just go to sleep.”

"wayu adusu yqs? dntu yqs neoi hwoi?”

“…what? No, it’ll be fine. We’ve got this. Go to sleep.”

“…oads.”

“Can’t you just go away?!”

“Do you want me to kill you again, 77? Because I can. And I gladly will~ I want to see 73 cry again~!”

“What is with you today? You won’t stop being a bitch to us.”

“I don’t know~ clearly bird kid is having a bad day, so I want to see how bad it can get~!”

“G-go away! You’re mean and scary and I don’t like you!”

“Aw, look at you, 73! You’re being so brave! So unlike you.”

“Hey, leave him alone!”

“Sure, 77. Control him. I know you can, so shut him up for me, will you~? He’s always acted like a sniveling, weak little baby, so keep him like that.”

“I-I’m not w-weak! A-and I’m n-not a b-b-baby!”

“Are you sure? Cause you’re crying and making a face like a little baby. And you’ll always be a little baby, because you’ll never grow up. No one will take you seriously, and no one should. You’re too optimistic for your own good.”

“Mona, leave him alone! He never did anything to you!”

“77. You really don’t understand, do you? 73’s never growing up. I made sure of that.”

“W-what do you-”

“Aw, don’t look at me like that, 73! It was an accident, I swear!”

“…knowing you, you did it on purpose.”

“That’s so mean, Vernie! It was a happy accident~!”

“…that’s literally worse.”

“So birdy’s asleep?”

“…yeah, don’t wake them up.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it~!”

“Yeah, that’s right. You’d just do it.”

“Hm! You’re right! But I won’t do that today. What I want to do…”

“Is cause chaos and be a general bitch to all of us? Yeah, we know.”

“…sure~!”

“Ozzy, let’s go. Sorry Vern.”

“…I don’t care, it’s fine, Thee. Take care of him.”

“So you’re trying to help them, huh?”

“Yeah, what of it.”

“You can’t help them.”

“Wow, you’ve stopped me in my tracks! I suddenly can’t do anything! Wow!”

“Your sarcasm got worse, Vernie~!”

“Thanks, I had no one to practice on, thankfully.”

“Oh dear~! Should I help you practice?”

“No. Go the fuck away.”

“Are you scared, Vernie? Don’t be scared of little old me~!”

“Yeah, let me not be scared of someone who fucking brainwashed me for months. That’s sooo easy.”

“It’s not my fault you can’t forget~! You just have so many weaknesses~! And you did it all to yourself.”

“…yeah, I did. That doesn’t fuckin mean you can use them against me.”

“Well, I don’t remember asking you how you felt about it. So shut up, please~! Or I’ll make you. Permanently.”

“…what do you want from me.”

“I want you back~!”

“…I’m tired, Mona. You’re going to break my brain.”

“I can just fix it~!”

“Mona, just leave me alone.”

“…I want you back. I liked it better when you didn’t act like this.”

“You’ll break me. You know that. And besides, I don’t want to.”

“Who said I didn’t want to break you?”

“I don’t want to go back, okay? Just- just leave me alone.”

“…it’s him, isn’t it.”

“He’s not waking up anyways. I don’t care anymore.”

“You clearly do.”

“I don’t. And I’m going to sleep, Mona. Go back to your stupid lab.”

“Darn. Maybe tomorrow.”

“…my answer will still be no, Mona.”

“…fine. Go to sleep, 98.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i dont know what to say. i fell asleep during the actual conversation, most of this is from vern.


	2. mona and me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mona tries to 'help'. she doesn't help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive been overthinking everything lately and im driving myself insane i cant sleep properly anymore

“Oh dearie, can’t you see? You’ve done this all to yourself. You’re hurting yourself over this~! Just stop thinking, and you’ll feel so much better~!”

“…rdsgd?”

“Of course, dearie~! Why would I **ever** lie to you~?”

“…I dri’u wsius bu ig lsgd.”

“I know you don’t~! And I can help you~ All you have to do is **listen to me~** ”

“Lgdsuk… te ydg?”

“ **Exactly** , dear~!”

“…beu I dgi’u wdehg hfdg hew.”

“Don’t worry~! I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen, okay~?”

“…o-ohsg.”

“Go and take some medicine. It’ll help you sleep~! You don’t want a repeat of yesterday, **now do you** , birdy?”

“N-nd… I deu’r…”

“Go and ask your dear mother for a pill. I promise it’ll help~!”

“Osjh…”

“You can deal with the consequences later, okay?”

“Wshj, cgidudfiusda? I dgj’k wahvh thms-”

“Too late, dear~! Nighty night, you **pathetic little birdy**.”

“Wdgi, whjd aur ysb diruu wuyd ms btehfw?!”

“Nothing, dearie. I’m just **breaking** **it**.”

“Nq!”

“You can’t stop me. Go to sleep, you **stupid** child.”

“N-nd… s-shgd…”

“Eehee~! This’ll be so much fun~! I get to watch you **struggle.** Sweet dreams, dearie~!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the messed up words are mine i dont want people to know what i think


	3. why am i adding a third thing to this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mona and me have a chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear cod im doing this again
> 
> hi! i uh dont know what to say so uh yeah
> 
> hope yall are doin well!
> 
> i didnt block out mwords this time so uh thats cool
> 
> i cuss, theres a mention of me being scared of going to a therapist, mona's a bitch, yup.

“You’re driving yourself insane, birdy~!”

“mhm, yup, whatever.”

“Are you just going to ignore me?!”

“yyyup. dont wanna think about you. youre gonna say something, and then im gonna hate myself, and no! i dont wanna do this again, mona.”

“Pathetic. You know that you’ll have to give up eventually, right? This little… thing you have going won’t last forever~!”

“well huh, guess ill just enjoy it while it lasts, right? or try to be charismatic enough that hopefully i can keep this. its nice, and i lo-”

“You’re pathetic, and you know that you aren’t good enough to deserve this.”

“damn, i am wounded. youve got me! oh man!”

“Did you learn your sarcasm from Vernie~? Because it’s just as terrible.”

“wow i happen to not care right now!”

“Cod, you really are on a happiness streak, aren’t you~?”

“mhm, and i like it, so go the fuck away! thank you!”

“I’m still horribly annoyed that you let me talk to that… person. Ugh. Disgusting.”

“i thought it was fuckin hilarious.”

“Of course you did, dearie~! Your humor has deteriorated down to the point where you’ll laugh at anything!”

“what is this, a psychoanalysis? youre the reason im afraid of therapists, yanno.”

“Good~! Although I don’t see the connection, bird kid.”

“uh really? therapist is a person who deals with feelings and stuff, right? you manipulate people using their feelings.”

“Hm, I see what you mean… well, I suppose I get to have more fun if you don’t go to a therapist~!”

“…now im kinda tempted to go to a therapist.”

“You really like disobeying me, don’t you.”

“disobey? bruh who are ya, my mum?”

“Would you like me to be~?”

“nope nope nope absolutely not! why! would you even suggest that!”

“You gave me the opportunity~!”

“you make me sick.”

“I’m not the only one who makes you sick~! And it all comes back to one simple fact! _You aren’t good enough!”_

“mhm yup, youve said this before!”

“Oh dearie, you’ll never be good enough for anyone.”

“hah, neither will youuu! so i guess we’re goin down together, ya massive bitch!”

“Really mature of you, bird kid. Although, I suppose you _are_ a child.”

“yeah! fuck you! please go the fuck away! i want to actually sleep tonight, if ya don’t mind!”

“Cod, the smile on your face is absolutely repulsive. One day, you’ll never be able to smile like that again.”

“bbbut today is not that day!”

“Tomorrow, perhaps?”

“no! go away!”

“Why are you smiling so much? It’s disgusting. Your smile is absolutely revolting.”

“ehehe so is youuuurs! evil biiiitch!”

“Answer the question, birdy. Why are you smiling so much? Is it because of f-”

“iii know what youre gonna say! and yes! and fuck you, leave!”

“…fine. I severely hope that you won’t set me up to talk with… that cheerful abomination.”

“hey who knows what could happen! also, dont say that! that’s mean!”

“…I’m leaving.”

“good! buh byeee~!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no idea why people keep reading this but oh well, i guess-


	4. six becomes seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> six children become seven. we were all expecting this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh yeah
> 
> cursing
> 
> sorry
> 
> im tired

“Uh… what is happenin? Where am I?”

“You came at like, the _worst_ time.”

“Dude, can you just explain _where_ I am?”

“Mindspace. It’s a long fucking story that I am way too tired to get into. My host over there brought you here.”

“fuck, what? oh fucking fucks, i didnt actually-”

“You did actually.”

“fuuuck. great. great! no wonder im so exhausted all of a sudden. sorry for the inconvenience. i really didnt mean to bring you here, i swear.”

“…I have a lotta questions, but I got the feeling that this isn’t the time for em.”

“yeah, no.”

“Can I… help you?”

“i mean, i dunno. maybe.”

“Ya said you were tired, right? You should prolly go to sleep.”

“mm yeah i should, shouldnt i? no. mnot gonna sleep. theres no way in hell thats gonna happen right now.”

“Do ya wanna… sit down and tell me bout it?”

“…im already sittin, but sure. why not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there was more but i 
> 
> do not wanna
> 
> im fine
> 
> very nervous
> 
> kinda wishin i wasnt such a nervous wreck
> 
> its cool
> 
> he likes music, its pretty nice
> 
> also ozzy didnt slap me for cursin for some reason, i think he was tryin to move something


	5. my chat with A part two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part two, where i vaguely explain some stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have lost control of my life, im postin this, i guess
> 
> part two of last chapter
> 
> i bet someone can guess who the new guy is
> 
> im sorry

“Oh.”

“yeah. i dunno what im doin.”

“Yeaah. It almost kinda seems like ya do, but ya also really don’t.”

“mmmhm. i wanna keep doin this, but i really dunno how long i can keep doin the happy thing.”

“Yeah, I getcha. But, ah... bottlin’ up your emotions like that reaaally ain’t gonna be good for ya.”

“i know. i shouldnta panicked like that, though. i shoulda just shut up.”

“I… don’t really disagree with ya there, but ya really shouldn’t be so harsh on yourself, dude.”

“really? no one’s _ever_ told me that one before.”

“…”

“…sorry. mreally tired and stressed.”

“It’s fine. Hm… have you tried expressin any of your feelins? That might make ya feel a bit better.”

“mmyeah, but i had a pang of extreme fear doin it.”

“…ouch, dude.”

“yeah, mkind of an idiot, if you havent noticed already.”

“Ya ain’t _that_ stupid…”

“so you admit mkinda stupid.”

“…”

“…i dunno if hes gonna wanna talk to me anymore."

“I really doubt that… that seems unlikely…?”

“please, for the love of cod, do not doubt that. i really shoulda just cut of my feelins. why didnt i dooo thaaaat…”

“You did, Pib, remember? It didn’t fuckin work.”

“…right. not like i really wanna do that.”

“Yeah, that never works. I tried to do it.”

“yeah, i know.”

“…you know?”

“i mean- fuck. okay, secrets out. ill explain.”

“…oh.”

“yeaaah. sorry.”

“I mean… everythin turned out aight in the end, so…”

“yeah, but still. sorry.”

“It’s… I need to think bout this.”

“yeah… you should get some sleep.”

“You should too…”

“ill be fine. get some rest.”

“…aight. Night… I didn’t catch your name?”

“pigeon. or pidge. or pib. or pidgey. i have a lotta nicknames.”

“Alrighty then, night, Pidgey.”

“night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i told myself i wasnt gonna post this i told myself i wasnt gonna make him i told myself it was gonna be fine i told myself it couldnt be that bad i told myself i wasnt gonna pick it up again i told myself id get everything under control i told myself id do it i told myself so many things why am i such a horrible person
> 
> edit: i was definitely freakin out when i wrote all of this down but its fine

**Author's Note:**

> i dont know why i added another chapter


End file.
